


Schrodingers Crush

by luvsohn (orphan_account)



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Non-Famous, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-13
Updated: 2019-10-13
Packaged: 2020-12-14 14:47:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21017528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/luvsohn
Summary: felix lee has had a crush on woojin ever since they first met. and then he accidentally kind of confesses.





	Schrodingers Crush

**Author's Note:**

> i'm orphaning this work based on chans vlive implying woojin betrayed the team and i dont feel comfortable having him associated with stray kids on my account anymore. however i'm still proud of this fic so. [shrugs]

Felix stretches himself out on Woojins bed, lifts the stuffed bear plushie and curls himself round it as he waits. Minho breezes into the room, lifting various things he’d left this morning. He doesn’t pay Felix any attention, preoccupied thinking about his own bedtime routine. It’s not like it’s weird for Felix to be in Woojin and Minho’s shared dorm. He’s here almost every night anyway, especially because his and Jisungs is right across the hall.

Not long after he’s settled down on the bed, Woojin exits the bathroom and plops down beside him, drying his hair with the rilakkuma towel Felix and Jisung had bought him at the end of their first month in the dorms. Woojin had helped them out a ton and they figured it’d be a nice gift to thank him with. The memory brings a smile to Felix’s face as he watches him.

Woojin notices Felix smiling at him, so he smiles back and pauses his action to reach out and ruffle his hair gently. He always said that Felix was like a stray cat that followed him home one night and refuses to leave. Felix doesn’t mind the comparison. He knows Jisung thinks of Minho the same way. 

“You still use that towel?” He asks, unable to keep the adoration in his voice to a minimum. To be fair, that’s not new. When it comes to Woojin, Felix has never been able to hide how he feels. It’s why he comes round every night, to talk about how his day went. Speaking to Woojin always puts him at ease, makes college feel a little bit more like home. 

“Of course! You gave me it, why wouldn’t I use it?” He laughs, glancing to the towel for a second, before looking back at Felix with an emotion he just can’t quite figure out etched on his face. “It’s cute.”

Woojin gets like that sometimes. It’s one of the first things he learned about him. He seems to be able to read Felix like a book, always knowing if something was bothering him, or if he was excited to talk about something. He feels bad about it sometimes, as though he’d forced Woojin to take care of him. He had been quick to shut that down once Seungmin told him that that’s how Felix felt.

Felix wishes he was able to read Woojin like that. He tries his best, he does. He sits with Woojin as he reads, because he’s pretty sure he likes the company. He lets him yank his arms around his chest and doesn’t try to squirm away, even though he’s worried he will be able to feel the way his heartbeat picks up. But it doesn’t feel like enough. He feels like he’s guessing all the time. 

“What’s on your mind?” Woojins voice breaks through and Felix blushes, shaking his head and waving his arm dismissively. He doesn’t know how to explain that he was just thinking about his big gay crush on him. You know; like friends do.

“Nothing, don’t worry about it.” Felix responds, earning him an eyebrow raise from the other. It’s only then he realises he’s rarely ever told Woojin not to worry about something; it’s kind of the whole reason he comes round every night. “Just - it’s just stupid stuff. Really.”

Woojin hums softly, before nodding and throwing the towel into the laundry basket that resides beside his door. He flops down on the bed properly now, meaning he’s lying beside Felix. Which is weirdly fine. He’s used to this. This is routine. “How was your day?”

“It was okay. Hyunjin helped me out on how to make my routine smoother, so now I’m just working out the rest. Jeongin and I went to that crepe place he keeps talking about and it’s really good!” He gives Woojin a thumbs up and he smiles softly in response. “Hey, did Seungmin tell you he’s going on a date next week? He didn’t tell me anything about it and apparently Jeongin only knows because he overheard him talking about it. I didn’t even know he liked anyone, which isn’t fair. He knows about my crush, so why wouldn’t he--” Oh, shit.

Woojin shuffles, propping his head up with his elbow, shit-eating grin on his face. Felix has properly fucked this one up. “A crush? You never told me you had a crush.” 

“Oh, really? I didn’t? Oh.” He waves his hand again, glancing around the room, trying to play it off casually. But Woojin knows Felix. Which, as much as Felix adores it, can be quite a nuisance sometimes. Like right now, for example.

“No, you didn’t. Tell me about them. Are they nice?” With that, he pinches Felix's cheek and grins. “I want to hear about them! Don’t keep secrets from me now, Yongbok!”

Felix just laughs, taking his hand and removing it from his face. “Okay, okay. Fine. I’ll tell you. But you can’t tell anyone else, okay?” He knows his face is furiously red by this point. He knows that if everyone else finds out that Felix inadvertently confessed to his crush, they’d tease him about it for weeks. 

Woojin readjusts, letting go of Felix’s hand only so he can hold it properly, fingers entwining. He brings it to his chest and speaks with sincerity, as if trying to prove to Felix that he wouldn’t tell anyone, that he was trustworthy. Which, of course, Felix already knew. It was kind of part of the problem. “I promise. Bears honor.” 

“I don’t think bears have honor, hyung.” Felix laughs, spare hand lifting the plushie he’d curled himself around and throwing it to the bottom of the bed. Woojin shuffles closer, most likely pleased to have more room. 

“But you don’t know.” Woojin responds simply. “Stop stalling and tell me before I kick you out for the night.” He glances to his door for a second. “I think Minho’s in your room with Jisung right now.” The all-too-real threat of being a third wheel hangs over his words.

Felix glances down to his free hand as he picks at Woojins bedcover. “Well - I don’t know what to say. He’s really nice to me? He listens to all my problems, even when he’s really tired. He always finds time for everyone in his life and he doesn’t really… complain about it.” He takes a breath, looking back up to Woojins face and - big mistake. “He’s beautiful too. He’s kind and patient and fun to be around. I always want to be near him, you know? It’s embarrassing.”

There’s silence for a while as they both just look at each other and Felix begins to worry that Woojin has once again managed to see right through him, realises how terrified he is of messing up the friendship they have with stupid unrequited feelings and he does what anyone would do in his situation.

“But, you know. Yeet! I’ll just throw my feelings away or something.” He laughs, running his free hand through his hair. 

Woojin just continues to stare at him with an intensity Felix has rarely seen before. He doesn’t know what to do. He glances around, staring at everything that isn’t Woojin. 

“You’re cute, Felix. He’s lucky that you have a crush on him, no matter how long it lasts.” There’s something about the way he says it, the fondness he hasn’t hidden, the way he squeezes Felix’s hand as he speaks, that leaves Felix speechless.

Woojin lets go of his hand and rolls over, facing the other way. “I think Minho’s staying at your place tonight, so you can stay here if you want. I think you still have the clothes you left last time here anyway.” He yawns, stretching his arms in front of him. 

Felix nods, but doesn’t make an effort to seek them out. The sweatpants he’s wearing are his usual pajamas anyway, so he doesn’t see the need to change into other ones. Instead, he shuffles closer to Woojin and throws an arm across his chest, head resting against his shoulder blade. “Thank you, hyung. Seriously.”

Woojin nods. “Where would you be without me?” He sounds exhausted and Felix realises he probably had another busy day, so he just laughs in response and decides to let Woojin sleep. A few minutes go by, before Felix feels Woojin grip his hand once more. 

Felix falls asleep smiling.

\-----------

“What do you mean you confessed but didn’t confess at the same time? How does that even work, Felix?” Jisung leans across the table, prodding Felix’s cheek, which evokes a groan as he folds his arms on the table, his head falling on top of them. 

“Schrodinger’s crush.” Seungmin adds sagely, which seems like the best way to describe Felix’s current situation, so he responds with a weak nod.

“You’re so stupid. It’s cute, don’t get me wrong. But you’re stupid.” Eric laughs, sipping his iced chocolate latte. He’s Felix’s best friend, despite the fact they only met on induction day. They’d bonded pretty quickly once Jisung introduced them. He couldn’t remember exactly how they had met, but it didn’t matter. The origins of his friendship with Eric weren’t his main concern.

“Thanks, Eric.” His voice is muffled, so he turns his head to shoot daggers at aforementioned best friend. “You’re really helpful. Who invited you again?” He shuffles, sitting back up so he can take a sip of his drink. They switch between English and Korean seamlessly, something that has helped Felix feel far more comfortable. He appreciates that Eric, much like Seungmin, is willing to help Felix with his korean, saying that it helps him brush up on his English too.

“You did. So, what are you gonna’ do?” Eric asks, hooking his arm around Felix’s shoulders and pulling him closer. “Are you gonna’ confess? For reals this time?” 

Felix shakes his head aggressively. There was no chance of that happening. Ever. Woojin would feel uncomfortable and it would change everything - Felix had only recently managed to get used to college and without Woojin being there… he doesn’t know what he’d do.

“Okay, okay. Don’t confess. He’s going to ask for updates on your crush, though. Did you think about that?” Seungmin chimes in, ever the brains of the group. Felix hadn’t thought about anything, which is part of the problem. 

“Uh - no. God. What do I say?” Felix moves to bash his head on the table again, however he’s stopped by Jisung reaching his hand out and pressing it against his forehead, holding him in place. 

“You could tell him your crush is on someone else? I mean - if he asks.” Jisung suggests. Initially, Felix knows it’s a bad idea. Pretending to have a crush on someone else will probably only complicate the whole situation further. Plus, who would Felix fake crush on? How do you fake crush?

“That’s stupid. Just tell him that everything you said was about him. It’s Woojin. More importantly, it’s you. Woojin wouldn’t push you away just because you have feelings for him, Felix.” Seungmin lays the facts out and it causes a blush to sweep across Felix’s cheeks. It’s strange - he knows that Woojin cares about him. He knows that their shared group of friends tease him about giving Felix special treatment, but hearing it be acknowledged so seriously… it fills Felix with unwanted hope.

“Seriously, Felix. No matter what you choose to do, always remember that we love you, okay? Just let us know what to expect and play along with. You’re my best friend. I trust your judgement.” A moment passes as they all let Eric’s sincerity sink in, before suddenly his hands are grabbing at Felix, pulling him in and burying his fist into his hair. “Our baby Felix!”

They all laugh, before Jisung is leaning across the table, pinching Felix’s cheeks and Seungmin is just clearing things away from their line of destruction, only to lean across and start prodding at the boy too.

Felix adores his friends.

\-------------

The next day, Felix spends a majority of his time in the library with Chan. The older is like a brother to Felix, constantly looking out for him and helping him whenever he can. Currently, he’s helping him write lyrics. It’s not particularly for classwork, but it’s something that Felix has always enjoyed as a hobby and he’d admired how good Chan was at making music. Thankfully, he’d offered to help Felix out.

It’s fun. He rarely sees Chan, due to the guy being pretty popular within the college, probably because he tries to help everybody out whenever he can. He’s funny, loud and hard-working. Felix thinks he’s lucky that he gets to spend any time with Chan at all, although he knows the older would kick his ass for saying that. 

“So - who is this about?” Chan asks, holding the piece of paper Felix had ripped out of his notebook. He glances up to Felix and tilts his head to the side. There’s something calming about Chan, something that makes Felix incredibly comfortable. It’s different from Woojin - Chan feels like a brother Felix didn’t have but sorely needed. 

“W-What do you mean? It’s just - it’s a song.” He responds, reaching out to take the piece of paper away from Chan before he could figure anything out. Felix hadn’t particularly meant to make a song that describes his feelings for Woojin, but Chan had told him to think of someone he loves because it makes it easier to be describing a specific… something. 

“Felix. You don’t have to tell me. They seem nice, if the lyrics are anything to go by. You should introduce me someday.” He winks with a laugh, before he begins to pack up his stuff. “I have to go help Brian out with something, but I’ll see you next week okay?” He smiles, slinging his backpack over his shoulder and standing up. “Tell Jeongin to reply to Changbin before he dies of stress.” With that, he ruffles Felix’s hair and makes a move to leave, before he stops for a second. “I hope everything works out. With the song and everything else.” 

Before Felix can even begin to process what Chan meant, he’s gone and Felix is sat alone, confused and a little embarrassed. He lifts the sheet of paper and rereads what he wrote, a smile adorning his face at the thought of his crush.

Felix is so fucked.

\------------

That night, he’s wandering back to the dorms consumed in thought about his previous conversation with Chan, when someone bumps into him. He stumbles out an apology and ducks down to help them pick up their notes, before their hand is on his shoulder.

“Felix? What are you doing out so late?” He glances up and smiles at the sight of Woojin peering at him, concern drawn across his face. Felix lifts his phone from his pocket and his eyes widen when he notices the time.

“I didn’t know it was this late - I was working on something with Chan hyung in the library and then decided to just stay back and study for a couple hours. I figured if I was already there…” He trails off for a minute before poking Woojin’s chest. “What are you doing out this late, hyung? You don’t even have classes today.”

“Huh? I didn’t know you knew my schedule. Are you stalking me now?” At the sight of panic on Felix’s face, he just laughs. “I was helping Changbin out with the coffeeshop, that’s all. No-one was able to work but he needed the help, so I offered.”

“Oh.” Felix remembers the message Chan had passed on from Changbin and quickly shoots Jeongin a text, before throwing his phone in his pocket. “Sorry, you just reminded me that Changbin asked me to tell Jeongin to text him back. No idea what it’s about, before you ask.”

Woojin laughs and stands up, throwing an arm around Felix’s shoulder. “Who said I was going to ask?” Felix reaches up and takes Woojins hand in his own tentatively, as if the older boy would ever decline him. Woojin squeezes his hand. “Hey - are you tired?”

“Not really - why?” Felix questions, turning to look at Woojin before realising how little space there was between them. He freezes momentarily, realising how absolutely beautiful Woojin truly is, especially up close. Woojin is a testament to the idea that being kind will resonate in your outward appearance, he thinks. 

Felix is finding it difficult to breathe and he doesn’t know whether he should look away or not, so he doesn’t. He just stares at Woojins nose (if he stared into his eyes it’d be too intimate, if he stared at his mouth it’d be too obvious) and waits. But Woojin doesn’t speak. Not yet, at least. Felix glances up, wondering if something had caught his eye elsewhere, only to realise that Woojin is staring down at him. Once he realises Felix has noticed, he hums and looks ahead of them.

“I’m not either.” He speaks, attention still focused somewhere in the distance. There’s more he wants to say, it seems, because he keeps opening his mouth to say something else but cutting himself off. He begins to walk, pulling Felix along as he goes. “Do you want to hang out? I want to show you something. Well - somewhere.”

“Okay.” Felix answers simply, because he’d already known his answer before Woojin had even asked. No matter what it was, he would probably have said yes. “Where?” 

“You’ll see!” With that, Woojin just flashes a smug smile, before pulling him toward the dorms.

Felix follows obediently behind him.

\-------------

Woojin pushes the door open, stepping out into the open air. Felix walks along behind him, staring out across the horizon. He wonders if he’d be able to spot his home from here.

“Pretty, right?” Woojin smiles, walking backwards, his focus still on Felix.

“Yeah. I thought they locked the roof door?” Felix asks, a vague memory of someone mentioning that at the induction. It felt so long ago, yet somehow like it was just last week. He was so intimidated by everything then. Oh, how times have changed. Woojin had played no small part in Felix growing comfortable with that change.

“They do. But, they gave Chan a key - don’t ask me why - and he gave me a copy. So we made it our own space to hang out. Let me show you.”

Woojin pulls Felix along, backpack slung over his other shoulder. They turn the corner and Felix’s eyes widened in surprise at what stands before him. He spots a couple bean bags strewn around a wooden coffee table that resides underneath a black canopy. There’s some abandoned lockers to the side and Felix wonders how they managed to carry all of this up here without anyone noticing.

“Pretty neat, right?” Woojin laughs, unhooking himself from Felix once more and walking toward the space, turning back to hold his arms open and grin at the other. He turns back, flopping down onto a red bean bag, patting the black one beside him. He reaches down on the other side of the bean bag - which Felix can’t quite see from where he’s stood, frozen, and pulls out a can of beer. “Are you just going to stand there all night?”

Felix begins walking forward, collapsing into the bean bag beside Woojin. He looks around him, various fairy lights decorating the space. Against the black backdrop, surrounded by the sky, they almost look like stars. They’d clearly spent a lot of time sprucing the place up, but he doesn’t know when or how they’d managed to sneak all of this past every other student. Surely seeing Woojin and Chan hauling a canopy up toward the roof would raise a few questions. “How did you manage all this?”

Woojin shrugs. “We just brought it all up at night. Forced Minho to help us carry stuff - he’s stronger than he looks - and kitted this place out. College kids care less about weird shit they see at night than any other group of people, you know. Anyway - the how isn’t as important as the why.” He turns his head then, twinkle in his eye, waiting for Felix to take the bait.

Which, of course, he does. “Okay… why did you do it?” He assumes the answer will be something about needing space, or that it’s cool to have something exclusively theirs, especially in University, where there aren’t many secrets you can have. Everyone lives together, plays together, eats together. It’s difficult finding somewhere to be alone. 

“Do you know how I became friends with Chan?” He asks, which catches Felix off-guard. He wasn’t entirely sure how this answered the question, but he figures Woojin must have some thought process going on, so he shakes his head. Now that he thinks about it, the two have just… been by each other's side since Felix had met them. He hadn’t really considered that there was a time where they weren’t inseparable.

“I found him passed out outside my dorm room. He’d overworked himself and hadn’t eaten anything that day, plus he never slept. If you think Chan’s a nightmare now, you should’ve seen him back then.” Woojin shakes his head, an endeared smile on his lips. “I woke him up and helped him into my dorm room, fed him breakfast bars and water, then forced him to sleep for a couple hours. After that, he stayed and talked for a while and we’ve been close ever since.” He glances over to Felix now, seemingly pulling himself out of the memory. “He’s so used to looking after everyone else that he forgets to look after himself, so I took that job upon myself. He’s an idiot, but he means well.”

Felix nods. He hasn’t known Chan for as long as Woojin, but he knew what he meant. The guy was always busy, doing everything he could to help people out. Felix had wondered if he ever found time to relax and wasn’t surprised to learn that Woojin forced him to. Woojins way of caring was just like that. He was always listening to Felix and reminding him that his health should come before anything else.

“So, when Chan got the key to the roof, we decided we wanted to build a space where no-one could bother us. We put our phones away, read, talk, sometimes he sleeps here. It doesn’t really matter.” Woojin spreads his arms, gesturing all around them. “This is our place to escape everything. Don’t get me wrong - it’s great feeling needed. It’s great being able to help so many people. That’s something both of us agree on. I love his capacity for kindness, as I’m sure you do too -” Woojin looks pointedly at Felix, as if there was some underlying meaning to his words. Felix wasn’t entirely sure what he could possibly be hinting at, but he nods anyway and that seems to be enough to spur him on, continuing his sentence. “But I’m happiest when he’s being kind to himself.”

Felix understands, but he can’t help but wonder why Woojin was choosing to share this all with him. It was nice, he thinks, that Woojin trusts him enough to tell him about all of it. He understands how much this place means to them both, the fact that it’s their home away from home, where they’re able to act like normal college students. He respects that. But still… he can’t help it. He’s curious. “That… I wondered how Chan hyung managed everything. I’m glad he has someone like you, hyung. But -- why are you telling me? I mean - I’m glad you trust me enough to show me this place, but I -” He cuts himself off and waves his arms around, unable to find the words he needs to explain his confusion.

“You remind me of him. I’m just warning you - if you overwork yourself, I’m experienced in kicking ass.” They laugh at that, before Woojin tugs on the collar of his shirt, taking a swig from his can and placing it back on the wooden table. “You know -” He moves closer, leaning toward Felix, laughter fading and leaving behind a small smile. “I used to have a crush on him. I think everyone did. It’s hard not to! But it faded pretty quickly. By the time I noticed I had a crush on him, he’d started dating Jihyo, anyway.” He tilts his head, scratching the back of his neck. “You telling me you have a crush just reminded me of that. Plus, you never told me. Who is your crush on? Is it Eric?”

Before Felix can even register it, a look of absolute horror washes over his face, causing Woojin to burst out laughing, hand resting against his stomach. “God no! Eric’s my best friend and I love him, but he’s way too… Eric for me.” Felix glances down, hands tapping against his thighs. 

“He is pretty… what does he call himself again? Energeric, right? It suits him!” There’s a lull in conversation for a moment as he seems to have a small conversation with himself, mouth moving but no words spill out. Felix finds himself waiting patiently, curious to see if it’s something he plans to share. He’s still staring at his fidgeting hands when he finally speaks. “What about Chan?” 

“What about him?” Felix responds quizzically, unsure whether he’s asking what he thinks is being asked, or if he moved on from their previous question and had forgotten to fill Felix in with the context.

“Do you have a crush on him?” Woojin looks up after he asks, piercing gaze shoots through Felix and leaves him feeling vulnerable. There’s a familiar intensity there, the same one from back in his bedroom that night, when Felix had described his crush.

“On Chan? No, I couldn’t. I think that’d feel too strange. Chan is more like a brother to me anyway. I appreciate all the help he gives and I do like him a lot, but not like that. I don’t think I’d be able to handle how busy he is, not like Jihyo can.”

Woojin seems to relax after Felix answers, which only makes him wonder if his crush on Chan really faded away. He decides not to press on it, not just now, at the very least. He’d already been so open with Felix and he’d hate to force a conversation that Woojin wasn’t ready to have. 

There’s more silence that follows, before Woojin shifts beside him, his feet suddenly nudging Felix’s hands from his lap. When he raises his arms, Woojins legs drape themselves across him and he lets out a sigh of relief. Felix just laughs, his arms dropping to rest on Woojins legs. 

“Am I like a brother to you, then?” Woojin asks tentatively, as if he was worried about the answer Felix was going to give. He doesn’t quite understand why, because it’s not like his answer is going to be horrible either way. Felix had always assumed Woojin knew that Felix thought the world of him - but he supposes some reassurance is always appreciated.

“Not a brother - no. You’re something else, but you’re comforting all the same. I can’t explain it, exactly. But you’re not like a brother. Something… rarer?” Felix huffs, unable to describe how he feels about Woojin in korean without revealing his crush. It causes his cheeks to warm up and he begins to flap his arms around desperately, trying to conjure perfect sentences.

Woojin smiles, reaching out and taking both of Felix's hands in his. “It’s okay if you can’t think of it now. As long as you like me and my company, then it’s fine.”

“Oh - then I can say that I do like you, and I like your company very much hyung. I’m sorry I can’t tell you about my crush either. Not yet, anyway. I’ll tell you soon, I promise. Just give me time to find the words, okay?” Felix responds, voice shaky, smiling up at Woojin earnestly. He means it, too. Woojin deserves the truth, not some fake crush like he was originally intending. Felix thinks back to what Seungmin had said to him, about how Woojin wouldn’t treat him any differently and he begs that that will ring true. 

He yawns, slumping forward, face pressing into Woojins legs. “It’s cold up here. You guys don’t have any blankets?” His eyes flutter closed and he just breathes, finding himself growing far more tired than he originally expected.

“No, we do - but they’re in the lockers. So - hold on.” Woojin gently pulls Felix off his legs and shuffles around so he’s upright, giving himself enough room to yank his jacket off and gently drape it over Felix’s shoulders. It causes a blush to dust across his cheeks. Usually, Felix would argue with him, but tonight he welcomed it. Figured that arguing with him would just end with him losing anyway, especially if the story he’d just shared about Chan was true. Which - Felix had no issue believing. But, still. This felt far too domestic and unreal for Felix’s poor heart to handle. Woojin doesn’t seem at all fussed, however, and just pulls Felix’s bean bag as close to his as he can, before throwing his arm around his waist. Felix breathes for a second, steadying himself, before he leans in, resting his head against Woojins shoulder. It’s not the most comfortable way to sit, but it might be his favorite.

He just listens as Woojin hums a song Felix vaguely recognises, eyes falling closed. “Woojin hyung… thank you for looking after me. Thank you for trusting me. You’re my favorite out of all of all of them.” A moment of silence passes. “Don’t tell Changbin hyung.” He smiles.

“Don’t worry. There are privileges to being my favorite. I won't tell him if you don’t.” He gently brushes his fingers along Felix’s hip, soothingly rubbing circles against the fabric of his jacket. 

Minutes pass and Felix can feel himself getting closer and closer to falling asleep. He doesn’t want to risk it, especially knowing that Woojin would take it upon himself to carry Felix back to his room, so he shuffles, sitting up properly. 

“We should head back before I fall asleep. I don’t want you to get a cold or anything.”

“Okay, let’s go.”

They head back downstairs and stop outside their rooms. It always surprises Felix, no matter how long he’s been here, how remarkably quiet the halls get in the dead of night. He’s used to the general white noise that other students make as they go about their days, so the absence of it all feels strange. Felix has never been more thankful they live directly opposite from each other than he is now. Making his way through the abandoned halls would be terrifying if Woojin wasn’t walking along beside him. When they reach their dorms, Woojin stands beside Felix and waits until he unlocks his door and pushes it open before turning to unlock his own.

“Oh - hyung! Your jacket!” He hurriedly takes it off,whipping round and holding it out to Woojins back. He’d completely forgotten about it, and didn’t want Woojin to think he was trying to steal it (Even though he was sure he knew him well enough to know that that wasn’t something Felix had even considered doing, but still. Felix worried.)

“Huh?” He glances over his shoulder, before shaking his head. “Keep it. I like it on you better.” With that, he heads into his room and waves at a stunned Felix as he closes the door, smug grin on his face.

Felix stands outside his room, with the door held open by his foot, for an extra minute in stunned silence, before shaking it off and heading inside.

\------------

It’s been a couple nights since Woojin had shown Felix the rooftop, and they hadn’t seen each other all that much since. He’d found himself pretty busy for the past couple days, spending most of his nights in the library until it closed, working on various assignments he needed to hand in relatively soon. He knows Woojins been busy too, as he’s been tutoring high schoolers studying for the entrance exam. 

They hadn’t had their nightly discussions and even though it hadn’t even been a week, Felix misses them. More importantly, he misses Woojin. As much as these nightly meetings did wonders for Felix, letting him vent about his day and enthuse about all the smaller activities he had going on, he mostly just liked having time to hang out with him. Even without the crush aspect of it all, Felix really does just enjoy his hyungs company. 

So, when he gets a text that simply reads “free tonight”, it’s only natural that his heart rate picks up slightly. He’s looking forward to seeing him again, to actually get to talk to Woojin besides exchanging brief hellos when they see each other in passing, both hurrying to their next destination.

He knocks on the door twice, like he always does, before shuffling into the dorm and moving through the small living room where Minho is sitting, heading straight toward Woojins room. It’s only when Minho calls out to him and pats the spot on the couch beside him that he diverts from his original path. “Felix. Do you have a minute?” 

He nods, making his way over to the couch and sitting cautiously beside him. It’s not that he didn’t like him, it’s just that they mostly worked around each other. They saw each other in passing, and they’d technically hung out a lot, but they’d never spent much time together in a one-on-one scenario, so Felix is worried about what the reason could possibly be for Minho to be calling him over instead of letting him go on his way.

“You like Woojin, right?”

Oh.

He’d forgotten how blunt Minho can be sometimes and the question brings a blush onto his face. He nods, shyly, glancing around the room before finally landing back on Minho. He hadn’t thought he’d been so hopelessly obvious that even he had noticed, but it’s not exactly surprising either. After all, Eric was constantly saying he’d be surprised if Woojin didn’t have even an inkling about Felix’s true feelings toward him. 

Minho simply smiles and nods back. “You should tell him.” He glances to Woojins room, smirk faint on his lips. “Snooze you lose.” He turns back to Felix, whos confusion must be visible on his face, because he just laughs. “Go, go. Before he finds out I teased his precious Lix.” He begins to gently push Felix in the general direction of Woojins room and he stumbles off the couch, shooting Minho once last hopeless look before he trudges off.

He flops down on Woojins bed, face down in the pillow. Once he’s horizontal, he lets out a sigh. This was what he needed. He inhales deeply, the scent of Woojin overwhelmingly welcome. He smiles into the bedsheets, eyes closed. 

Soon after, Woojin emerges from his bathroom and sits down on the edge of the bed, before he throws himself on top of Felix. “Aw, my little Yongbokie. You were earlier than I expected, were you waiting long?” He asks, nuzzling his head against Felix's neck. He knows he’s being teased, the use of his korean name making it obvious enough, but the tips of his ears are red regardless and he hates it. Woojins hair is wet from his shower and the water is dampening Felix's shirt, but he doesn’t complain. Instead, he just starts laughing, because it tickles and he’s nervous. Sheer worry that Woojin will be able to sense Felix’s feelings because of the close proximity takes over him and he tries to wiggle out of Woojins grasp.

“I wasn’t waiting long! Geddoff, hyung!” But he’s laughing as he says it and there’s far more affection in his voice than anything else. Woojin moves anyway, rolling over to the side, then shuffling so he can rest his head on Felix’s shoulder. It’s a sign of affection that Felix is used to, but he’s still embarrassed about how fast his heartbeat is going.

“Okay, okay. So - what have you been doing? I saw Jisung the other day and he doesn’t seem like he’s been sleeping?” The tone is accusatory, but Felix knows that Woojin is just concerned for their wellbeing. 

“I told him to go to sleep, but he didn’t listen to me. Plus - Minho hyung took him drinking the other night and he’s been training to outdrink him ever since.” He rolls over, facing the ceiling, his hand coming to rest on his stomach. “He might listen if you told him to stop, though.”

Woojin just laughs and shakes his head. “No, he wouldn’t. He’d pretend to, though.” Felix just smiles because, well; he isn’t wrong. Jisung would much rather swear Felix to secrecy than lose this imaginary bet he thinks he’s made with Minho. He’s just trying to impress him, Felix thinks. Which… he kind of gets. 

“Woojin hyung, who looks after you?” He’s not entirely sure what possessed him to ask it, but once it’s out there, he figures he might as well follow the question through. He’s curious to know the answer, and the questions been weighing on his heart recently.

“Huh? Looks after me?” Woojin hums as he thinks about the question. Felix appreciates that Woojin doesn’t make fun of him when he poses stranger questions, when he enquires about Woojins feelings on matters he takes seriously. At least, not during their nighttime routine together. “I look after myself, mostly.”

Felix huffs. That just doesn’t work for him. Without thinking about much else, he speaks again, voice softer. Almost a whisper, as if it’s a secret he’s keeping, one he’s only willing to share with Woojin and Woojin alone. Which, he supposes, isn’t that far off. “I want to look after you, hyung. I mean - I don’t want you to stress yourself out. It’s not fair that you take care of everyone and no-one takes care of you.” He shuffles, feeling a little bold, and places his hand on top of Woojins thats playing with the necklace around his neck.

Woojin doesn’t respond, so Felix glances down to him. He’s just lying there, staring up at the ceiling in what seems to be thought. There’s a smile on his face though, one that Felix has seen before. He recognises it as the one that Woojin has whenever Jisung flusters Minho, or when Seungmin bounds up to him with a story about whatever is currently on his mind. It’s private, but it makes Felix proud. He can’t explain why - he just knows that seeing Woojin look like that, because of something Felix said… It makes him feel proud.

Suddenly, Woojin is moving, turning over and leaning over Felix’s face. His eyes widen and the blush spreads across his face at the intimacy and the close proximity between them. Woojin just stares at him for a while. Felix swears he sees his eyes glance down to his lips a couple times, but he’s too flustered to say or do anything. 

“Felix. Can I -” He cuts himself off and pulls back, carding his fingers through his hair instead. His expression softens and he lowers his voice to a whisper once more. “You’re very honest. Mostly. No-one's ever said that before. Chan tells me to look after myself, reminds me to drink water and get sleep. Which is a little bold of him, considering.” He chuckles at that, a low rumble. He stares at Felix for a moment longer, before flopping onto the pillow beside him. “Okay. If you want.”

Felix doesn’t miss the pleased smile on Woojins face though, and he beams in delight at that.

\----------

bear hyung  
Can we talk later?  
I miss you.  
ʕ ´•̥̥̥ ᴥ•̥̥̥`ʔ  
12:43 read

sweet baby lix  
yeah!!  
i miss u too :(  
where do u wanna meet??  
(=^ ◡ ^=)  
12:43 read

bear hyung  
Rooftop!  
About 9pm?  
ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ  
12:44 read

sweet baby lix  
yeah!!  
remember to eat dinner hyung!  
（ꏿ ω ꏿ）  
12:44 read

bear hyung  
Please that emoticon is awful...  
You eat something too.  
ʕ； •`ᴥ•´ʔ  
12:53 read

Ever since Felix made the resolve to confess to Woojin soon, it suddenly became impossible for them to meet up. Between Woojin helping various people around campus out and working at the cafe to help Changbin out since Younghoon and Hyunjae got internships, he was way too busy to have even a moment to himself, let alone to see Felix. They texted everyday, mostly just reminders to take care of themselves, or short but sweet conversations at night about how their day had been. 

Finally, after a couple of weeks of torture, it seemed like they could meet up. Which meant Felix really couldn’t waste any more time. He had been working on the song until he had deemed it perfect, had played it for his friends a hundred times until they agreed that it was good. It had gotten to the point where apparently Hyunjin had been humming it at work. Although Felix isn’t entirely sure when he got to hear it. Presumably, it was Seungmins fault.

At around 19:15, Felix starts heading up toward the rooftop. He felt a little weird, like he was encroaching on Chan and Woojins personal space. Despite being invited, it still felt like it was something for them and he didn’t want to be the one who ruined their sanctuary. So, he’s cautious, sneaking around the handful of students, who most definitely don’t care what he’s doing, heading up to the rooftop and shoving the door open.

He heads round the corner towards their area and sees Woojin with his back to him, setting down his backpack on the table and pulling out an array of snacks, calmly laying them out on the table. Was all of this… just for the two of them? His eyes darted around, searching for anyone else that could possibly give even a hint toward Woojins plans for the evening; but nobody else was there.

“Was I supposed to bring someone?” He calls out to Woojin who jumps slightly at the sound. He throws a glance in Felix’ direction over his shoulder, breaking into a bright grin. Felix can’t help but mirror his expression, butterflies in his stomach beginning to stir.

“No, just yourself.” He glances down to the food on the table in front of him and hums, tossing his now-empty backpack onto the floor beside him. As he finishes setting up, Felix shuffles close to him and presses his cheek against the others back. Woojin reaches back and takes both of Felix’s hands in his, pulling them round his body so Felix is back hugging him. He freezes for a second, before a smile graced his lips, one that he feels safe in knowing Woojin can’t see. “I missed you, Felix. I’ve gotten used to you being around.”

“I missed you too, hyung - but it doesn’t matter! We’re here now, right? How have you been?” Felix can’t let himself linger on it for too long - he might start reading too far into Woojins words and ruin his own confession later. Woojin lets go of Felix’s hands, and turns, falling back into a bean bag. Felix takes it as a cue and shuffles over to collapse onto the other one. 

Woojin glances over at him and reaches his arm out, grabbing the beanbag, yanking it so it’s pressed against his own, before throwing his arm around Felix’s shoulder. The small act of affection is a little overwhelming, but incredibly welcome. “Okay, a little swamped with everything going on. We’ve been doing group work for class, which means I’ve had to keep on top of that. What about you?”

Felix hums to himself. He’d spent a lot of his time studying, which had caused Eric to drag him to a party. It had been pretty fun, if a little awkward. He wonders if Eric sometimes forgets that not everyone is as sociable as he is. “I went to a party on Saturday!”

Woojin laughs, his nose scrunching. “Oh, really? Did you have fun?” He seems a little distracted, but Felix assumes it’s because he’s been so busy that leaving those things unattended for longer than five minutes becomes worrisome. 

“Yeah! It was one of Eric’s friends, I think. Kevin hyung and Jacob hyung were there - you know, Erics step brother and his boyfriend? So they kept me company while Eric went saying hello to everybody before he came back.”

“Like a boomerang.”

Felix nods. A silence spreads between them, but it’s comfortable. Woojins fingers tap up and down Felix’s arm, leaving a trail of goosebumps behind him. 

“Felix, do you -” He pauses, tongue running over his bottom lip briefly. “Do you still have a crush on someone?” 

Felix freezes for a few moments, the tips of his ears reddening. “Yeah… why hyung?” He chooses to stare straight ahead, refusing to turn and see if he could read Woojins thoughts.

“Oh. I see. It’s nothing.” Another pause follows, before Woojin pulls his arm from around Felix and rests his hands clasped in his lap. “Do you plan on confessing to him?”

Felix gulps. He did, he’d been planning for weeks to confess to Woojin. He’d poured his heart into a song, the lyrics hastily scribbled on a post-it that is currently in his pocket. But, now that Woojin has given him the perfect segue, he’s nervous. He’s absolutely, horrifically terrified of how Woojin might respond. “Uh - yeah. Someday… hopefully. I just get really nervous whenever I think about it. I - I don’t know how he’ll respond.”

Woojin smiles and turns his body properly, shuffling on the bean bag until he’s facing Felix, his legs crossed. “Well - if you want, you can practice. With me. It might help if you’re able to say it with someone you’re comfortable with?”

Oh my god. His friends will rip him to shreds if he indirectly confesses to Woojin again. But, at the same time, maybe if he confesses, he can at least get an idea of how Woojin would respond. His head is whirring with thoughts and he’s not sure which to focus on.

Suddenly, there’s a hand resting on his upper arm. He looks up at Woojin and registers the vague worry in his eyes as he smiles reassuringly. “You can say no if you want. It’s okay. I won't take it too personally!” His smile grows as he speaks, punctuating it all with a gentle squeeze of Felix’s arm.

“No! I mean - yes! I want to do it. I’d like to confess. Practice! I want to practice confessing. With you. Please.” He finishes rambling by lowering his head and exhaling. He reaches up and touches his ears, knowing they must be bright red by now.

Woojin just laughs, his hand dropping down and resting on Felix’s leg. He brushes his fingers against the fabric of Felix’s jeans for a moment and it gives Felix something to focus on, something that stops his thoughts from running wild. He wants to confess to Woojin, he really, truly does. He wants to do it properly and honestly, he wants to spill his heart and leave his most vulnerable self sitting in front of him, but he just can’t. So this will have to do.

“Okay.” He clears his throat, adjusting his shirt and shuffling back in the bean bag, straightening his posture. “Um.. Okay. Okay. I can do this.” He breathes out, glancing up at Woojin’s face. He’s just smiling, ever patient with Felix. He nods, encouraging him to continue, to take the time and finds his words. It tugs at Felix’s heartstrings and he closes his eyes. He pictures that he’s sitting with his boys at their regular table. Eric is beside him, Seungmin and Jisung are opposite them. With that picture in mind, he opens his mouth. “I’ve been trying to come up with how to do this for weeks and I still don’t feel ready, but I don’t want to live without saying anything to you. Seungmin said that you deserve to know, because otherwise I’m taking this choice from you. So, I… I like you, hyung. You’re kind and patient. You take care of everyone around you without thinking twice about it. I don’t just mean when we need you either. I mean… you listen to all of us talk about whatever we need to talk about, you research our interests so you can talk back. It’s really nice. Being around you makes me so… it’s so weird. I’m so nervous, but I’m at peace too?” Felix takes a breath, recentering himself. Suddenly, he feels Woojin’s hand take one of his and he gives it a gentle, reassuring squeeze. “You’re beautiful. Like, really. And I know you worry about being too busy for anything like that - it’s okay. I don’t need that, anyway. I just - hyung.” He bites his lower lip, preparing himself. Now he’s gotten into the groove of it all, he realises he might as well just risk everything now. Hopefully, Seungmin is right. Hopefully, Woojin won’t reject him horribly and leave him. More than anything, Felix wouldn’t be able to handle losing him as a friend. “Do you remember what I said to you? I want to take care of you, hyung. I mean that. I like you a lot. I - I feel the most like myself when I’m with you. You make me want to do more - and I don’t mean that in a bad way! It’s not that I don’t feel like I’m enough - not because of you. It’s just - I want to be able to give you everything. I want to be able to give you everything you’ve given me and more. Woojin hyung, I like you. I hope that’s enough.”

There’s a deafening silence that follows and Felix keeps his eyes shut, refusing to acknowledge the situation. If he doesn’t open them, he doesn’t see Woojin’s response. It’s stupid, but it’s the last step before he has to deal with the consequences. His heart is beating out of his chest and all he wants to do is run, or wake up. Anything.

“Felix. Open your eyes.” Woojin is far, far closer than Felix remembers him being and his words make him jump, almost being directly whispered into his ears. However, he hasn’t run away. Which has to be a good sign, right? Slowly, he opens his eyes and reels back, the distance between him and Woojin far smaller than he’d ever expected.

“Did you mean all of that?” He asks softly and there’s a layer of vulnerability that has Felix speechless. It speaks to Felix, lets him know that Woojin seems just as nervous about it as he feels. It relaxes him. He supposes that would be weird, but it’s Woojin. He always managed to make Felix feel understood, even now. 

“Yes. Of course I meant it. Why - did it seem like I was lying?” 

Woojin seems to just watch Felix quietly for a moment, teeth grazing over his own bottom lip. Felix wonders what’s going through his head. He knows there are a billion thoughts racing through his own, but he wishes he could just take a peek into Woojins head. Unexpectedly, Woojin starts laughing, taking his hand from Felix’s and reaching into his pocket.

“We’re very stupid, Felix. I was going to confess to you today. Minho said I should do it soon, before you do. But I chickened out and asked you about your crush - I thought it’d be easier to ignore mine if you were talking about yours.”

That has Felix laughing too. He’s not even entirely sure what he’s laughing about, but it feels good. It feels like everything he’d been carrying for years was flying off him, escaping into the atmosphere, looking for someone else with repressed feelings. Woojin pulls out a blue envelope and waves it in the air.  
“I wrote mine down.”

That reminds Felix of what he had prepared and he reaches for the post-it in his pocket and pulls it out. “I wrote you a song! That’s what Chan was helping me with when you met me that night, you know, the first time you brought me here?” 

Shock registers on Woojins face before he leans in closer to Felix again. “Felix. Can I kiss you?” Felix feels his entire body rush with warmth at the question, at the fact Woojin’s asking him. The fairy lights around the frame illuminate his skin and reflect in his eyes and Felix just stares, taking everything about it in. The wind blowing through them, his sleeves gently hitting against his arms. He smiles at Woojin and glances down to his mouth, nodding.

When Woojin leans in and presses his lips to Felix’s own, it takes everything he has in his heart not to erupt into a cacophony of excitement. He’d harbored this crush on Woojin for an agonizing amount of time and now… He thinks about it, wonders how he let it last so long, wonders why he kept it to himself if this is what was waiting at the end of it all. He can’t find it within himself to beat himself up for too long about it though. After all, he’d do it all again in a heartbeat.

They pull apart and Felix smiles, his eyes closing. “Thanks, hyung.” Which has Woojin laughing in Felix’s face, his breath warm. 

Woojin reels back, still laughing, before resting a hand on the side of Felix’s face. “Ah… our Yongbokie was raised so well… but you don’t need to thank me. Really. It makes it feel like I’m doing you a favor.”

Felix laughs again, just because he can. He leans into Woojin’s grasp, his laughter fading out, leaving a blissful smile on his face. Woojin’s thumb brushes against his cheek and Felix has never felt more… whole. It’s not that Woojin completes him - it’s just… Woojin understands him, he makes him feel special and loved like no-one else has ever been able to. Felix truly hopes he has been able to do the same for Woojin - he hopes he’ll be able to for the rest of his life.

“God. You’re so cute. Come here.”

As Woojin pulls him in for another kiss, Felix can’t help the smile that seems to be stuck to his lips like glue. Everything feels hazy, like he’s been teleported to some other Felix’s life, where he gets the boy. It’s incredible and dreamlike and he’s trying to store everything in his memory, in a place so strong he’ll never forget. He kisses Woojin eagerly, his arms stretching across Woojin’s shoulders, his hands clasping each other. 

When they pull away this time, Woojin presses his forehead against Felix’s. They sit like that for a minute or two, just enjoying each others company. Revelling in their newfound truths. Up here, right now, everything seems still. The city below them keeps moving, but they remain as they are. Woojin moves his hands, resting them against Felix’s waist, before he opens his eyes and meets Felix’s gaze. He gives a devilish grin, poking his fingers into his waist, causing Felix to jump and yell in surprise. “Hey, that’s no fair! I was distracted! You can’t do that while I’m distracted - that’s not fair hyung!”

Woojin stands and makes a dash for the door, with Felix chasing after him. He pulls the door open and looks back, pressing a finger to his mouth. Ah. Right. They’re heading back into the dorms, after all. Neither of them want to risk waking other students, not right now. Felix walks up behind him and, emboldened by whatever is in the air tonight, reaches his arms around Woojin’s chest, burying his face into his back. They stand like this for a moment, Woojin resting his hands on top of Felix’s, before he lets go and steps back, turning to look at Woojin and Chan’s den. 

He drinks in the view of the city across from them, the lights racing through the streets. Everything feels so important, he doesn’t want to risk missing a single detail about tonight. Standing up here, Felix felt like he ruled the world. Everything below him didn’t matter, not right now. The sleeping students, the cars, the people hurrying through the streets. None of them mattered. 

Woojin takes Felix’s hand in his own, his head coming to rest on top of Felix’s. “Okay?” He speaks softly, as if not wanting to intrude on Felix’ silence. He can tell he’s having a moment, can’t he?

“Yeah. I just don’t want to forget a single detail about tonight, that’s all.” He speaks honestly, his secrets spilling from him. Who else would he share them with, if not Woojin?

He pulls their entwined hands up to his mouth and brushes his lips against each of Felix’s knuckles. Not quite a kiss, but not quite nothing either. “This is real, you know.” He pauses, lowering their hands, but not letting go. “Us. Right now. Tomorrow. Long after that - if that’s what you want.” Felix shuffles, turning to look at Woojin properly as he speaks. “Just because we won't be stood here, doesn’t mean it won't have happened. I promise.”

And just like that, Woojin has managed to find exactly what Felix had been so afraid of, and had managed to calm his worries. Felix hadn’t even needed to say anything, not really. It causes a smile to blossom on his face and he nods. “You promise?” Because he needs to make sure, he needs the absolute certainty Woojin will surely provide.

To Felix’s surprise, Woojin lifts their hands and adjusts their grip, hooking his pinky around Felix’s and pressing the tips of their thumbs together. “Promise.”

“Long after…” Felix repeats Woojins words, tilts his head to the side. “Hyung? Are we - you know - are we… you know...” He fiddles with the ring on his index finger, blush sweeping across his face.

“Yes. Well - only if you’re okay with that - but, yeah. I’d like to be.”

“I’d like that too. I’d really, really like that.”

Woojin just smiles, his free hand pressing against Felix’s cheek as he kisses his forehead. “Now come on, boyfriend. I think Minho and Jisung are waiting to see how it went.” 

Felix just laughs and nods, before he raises himself onto his tip-toes and gently kisses Woojin once more. “Okay, boyfriend.” He kisses Woojin another time, before prodding his waist and heading toward the staircase, “Let’s go.”


End file.
